Hey Kainy glad to see your back!!
Missed you for a while there, i was wondering what happened.
What you need to do in order to find what you are here for is look at what you enjoy.
Do you enjoy music? Do you enjoy computer gaming? Do you enjoy the girlz?
Whatever meets your hearst desire you can get it as long as you stick with it. I found that out...
You give yourself enough of what you like you start to feel like you are able to find your meaning. But you first need to be able to have fun before you find your life purpose. Life is not supposed to be serious.
Go to Fat-pie.com, or Newgrounds.com there are hilarious funny cartoons on both sites.
Whenever I am feeling down I do somethin really lame like watch flash cartoons or play computer games in order to feel good. Then I have the confidence in myself to set about at things such as finding meaning. Which I have in my life, and its writing (although I haven't been doing alot of that latley, I've been too busy having fun).
Believe me: laughter is the best medecine. Even if it is only for a moment that moment can be the beginning of something more, it can be the start of a chain of realization where your life starts to unfold before you.
Just hang in there, work it a smile a day and eventually you will see the light. Those fragments of happiness will become more frequent and you will piece together al ife for yourself.
Know that whenever you come here to vent your thoughts, you are always respected. And encouraged.
You write like a genius in another language, had you not mentioned you were from a on Enlgish speaking country I would never have known.
Niether would any of the others, so you can forget about that completely.
You have gifts.
Just admit that to yourself and allow yourself help.
good Luck Kainy, we're here for you man.