OPISITE SEX ADVICE

Hi,
I'm tobias, 16, at a Catholic College Prep School. Men and women go their, i'm having trouble with my communication skills to girls. I don't know what it is and if i could get even the slightest answers i know it would help me a TON. I'm happy to help you if you've got a question.

Believe me, I know exactly what you mean. Girls in general can be entirely different creatures to guys...its very weird.
I still can't get all that great of a conversation going with one. (now it sounds like I'm talking about an animal, hehe)
Uh, well for one thing they have no interest in the stuff you like whatsoever so don't bother talking about it to them...you will lose their interest very fast. Talk about simple things that they can relate to...girls have a very short attention span when it comes to conversation.
Like microscopic.
If it consists of words longer than thirteen letters they start to waver and eventually drive off the road and search for another place to talk.
Jokes are a must, if you can make her laugh she is bound to want to talk more, mind you there is a certain level of joke that you have to stick to.
Like those explicit adult jokes that only guys seem to know are an absolute hell-no. And really lame kiddy-joke book ones are the same.
Political jokes are generally ok, depending on the intelligence of your girl (well Its America so I'd so that would be low...ah srry I hate America. No offence to you of course.)
Um, yeah...Sorry I can't be more help but if I knew I wouldn't be sitting here typing I'd be on the phone talking to girls...

girls are TERRIBLY confusing and weird and must be from a different planet u just have to go with the flow and if u cant stand her avoid her but DONT HURT HER if u hurt a girl its like being run over by 30 dumpster trucks it hurts like hell and it kills us so be careful before u get into a relation ship become friends first and see wat shhes really like and well me ive never been with a gguy just broken hearted some say i was born wityh a broken heart but anyway i no NOTHING aboiut girls i just no that they can be bitches and very cruel and i still have not found out wat to talk to these creatures about they confuse the shit out of me hope i helped pm me if u have any questions

ps: please excuse my french i have a potty mout

Jill

wow thanks a lot for the advice Jill, =D

u didnt ask for advice but ur welcome haha

Girls actually seem to be in two catagories - those who believe they are perfect, and those who are imeasurably insecure and constatly seeking perfection.
Found out that there is some connection between beauty and ignorance.
They also have boobies and pee sitting down.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha i would hope that he would no that theu have boobs and pee sitting down

hey maul, where you live... do they use the term "EMO"? well, i beg to differ on the two catigories, there are the poor hot girls, the girls in the city, the girls in the ghetto, the skater girls, and there are the perfect ones in all but the thing is that there are to many middles to be pushed aside. ty

+Tobias+ wrote:

hey maul, where you live... do they use the term "EMO"? well, i beg to differ on the two catigories, there are the poor hot girls, the girls in the city, the girls in the ghetto, the skater girls, and there are the perfect ones in all but the thing is that there are to many middles to be pushed aside. ty

A little bit, but its not a massive insult like I think it is over there.

see where i live ur either fancy, sissy, poor, rich, or misfits i am called a misfit i call myself a misfit all the gothic and skater people are considered "cool" even though there the ones who shoot people alot of times (no offence i used to be a goth and am still a lil)

yeah i use to be goth in like 8th grade, then i realized how stupid it was.... more like i just started to do drugs and go to parties, but still, i havn't heard of a gothic shooting, wierd... well i think i'm doing a little better with the topic so far.... so yeah

well i live in a town where anything is possible and anything u think cant happen does MAUL TAKE ME AWAY!!!

People I need advice, Hana seeing as how you are older and more experienced at life you might be of the most help here.
There is a girl of which I find to be the most beautiful in the whole entire world, and we used to be together when we were younger, but her parents weren't real happy about that and I got a lot of crap for that.
Eventually I broke up with her because she was too young to understand that I wanted her to show me affection back, it was a really one-sided relationship but it was mainly because she had grown up in another country and didn't know western culture and social signs.
Now I have been trying to establish a good friendship again with her, and I wrote an incredibly sad and beautiful short story for her that I will post after this to show you (I put HEAPS of effort into it) that she is yet to receive.
The only down-side to the relationship is that her parents are ex-missionaries and thus are very fundamental. Jess is not (thank god for that) and actually almost distastes for fundamentalism as much as I do.
Last night I rang her with intentions on hinting at the love I have for her and trying to win her back, instead I found out that she had bullied a girl after giving in to peer pressure.
This broke my heart.
The fact that I love her so much made me hurt so badly that she was one of the people who had put me in the place I am now. I ended up spending the next half-an-hour completely and utterly out of my own control telling her about the consequences of bullying and how the person she may have bullied might now have low self-esteem issues for the rest of their life. I told her how I believed that was what was wrong with the world - kids picking on others kids during their childhood because it is during this time that you become the person you are to be for the rest of your life. And for someone to make you feel worthless...it is unacceptable.
The poor girl was nearly in tears by the end of the conversation.
I cried myself to sleep that night. I hated her for doing that - but I loved her at the same time. It made me want to just die.
I told her that it broke my heart because I loved her so much, and she was silent for the rest of the conversation.
I feel terrible for what has happened. I told her that she offended me on the deepest level by saying she did that, because it was those people who got shitted on by bitchy bullies that I now confide in - you guys who know what its like to get the raw end of the deal in life. I love you all like family and therefore any offense to my family is intolerable.
I want to forgive her for what she did, so I told her to try and make amends for the bullying to the girl, and told her about one of the guys who used to pick on me something shocking when i was younger who is now one of my good friends.
I love her, but at the same time I hate that what she did caused me to turn away from her. I was so heartbroken to hear it. It felt as though my chest literally tore in two. I could barely speak. And strangely enough I'm not exaggerating.
What I want I guess is help to figure out a way to forgive her, because I'm terrible at forgiving people, I hold grudges almost forever. I need advice.

I will be seeing her this Friday at a church youth group (her parents force her to go) and I will go just to see her.

Here is the story thingy I wrote...

Every single time I saw her, I was nervous in a way.
Not always literally, and not always figuratively but it was in a way – perhaps spiritual is a way to describe it. In any case it was this energy that never failed to drive my heart into a flurry of withering insect chatter. It was a ride just to sit next to her and feel so injected with passion that it could drive me mad, and often I could do little except think of her from the moment I crawled from bed (and pleasant dreams of her sweet childlike embrace) to the second I fell to sleep after another empty day; swept into a sadness deeper than lost love. Into a sadness that equals her beauty.
This is the saddest tale.
She could hold my eye eternally. That was a no-brainer, and I think she knew it too. However I’m not sure that she knew what that actually meant at the time, as she was so young (not in body but in mind) and had not yet any sense for love or admiration; the things of which I poured on her every night and day in my imagination and unquenchable thirst to gaze upon her beauty once more – again and again.
Her voice was crystal smooth and yet delightfully playful in its childlike grace, her tones always easy on the ear even in anger. Those eyes. Oh those endless blue eyes of which the heavens themselves would be envious of their beauty and spiritual power.
They could weave magic – that was certain. They had the power to fixate me and turn my will completely to stone. She was a medusa of my heart, and a serpent of which it was all but impossible to charm.
The shape of her body was flawless, sublime, feminine perfection. There is no flaw in her construction, and those achingly long legs that end so easily at her hips flow like water when she moves – her frame a mercy from the bleeding stench of reality that clouds the eyes from true spirituality and magic. Her stomach is round, and gently curved as the face of a polished vase as creamy and smooth as bone-white silk, slowly rising towards her breasts that sit in ripe circles of bouncing bliss. Beyond her chest lies a pair of gently mounded shoulders as soft and warm as the body of an animal.
Her slender neck supports the face of which never left my mind.
Her face, those eyes, those small perfect lips of which never appeared dry or whipped by the wind as did mine (and to my great shame in her presence), not to mention her wonderful button nose and unblemished marble skin.
I loved her; with every part of my soul I loved her.
Yet still I know now that there was no return of this great longing of her, or at least there was not at first. She held me in friendship – but nothing more for a long time, and when we did at last embrace in our first kiss it was as though the entire world stood still; the trees themselves had stopped breathing and time observed as we sat in the gentle scrub near the lake with our lips pressed against one another’s in an amateur attempt in expressing those hidden emotions.
However this moment may have been exaggerated in my mind. For there are some things in life which refuse to turn out the way we think they will (or that we want them to). Her adoration for me was one such thing.
She wasn’t looking for it, and of course having it forced on you would probably be unpleasant, I can’t say for sure because it wasn’t me that it happened to. I wonder if it is even possible for me to describe an emotion of which I know nothing about. For essentially love is something that I have felt many times yet never truly understood. No, that’s not right. I never understood it at all.
I don’t think I ever will.
She was more than what I have described her as, because of the simple fact that she was real, and no amount of imagination can do reality justice; this is something that takes you many years to discover but you do it eventually as more often than not you don’t have any choice. We all have to learn the lessons of life whether we choose to or not, and those lessons are rarely easy, and usually involve a lot of pain. Yet in a lot of ways, she was also less than what I thought she was, due to my massive imagination and expectation of which I had emplaced upon her based on my dreams of which she could not possibly know. I assumed she would be the girl of my dreams simply because she was – and it was this principal that drove us apart as the red sea before Moses.
All she truly desired (and all she still desire to this day) is to fit in, and to feel as though she belongs. Which ironically is the same thing of which I have always wanted as well, but I am pretty sure that those who take things for granted are those who are apt to get them and those who are in need will almost always go without. She does what I do – if only she could see it. She searched for a place to belong and to feel as one with those around her. I did too – and I now understand that neither of us found it.
We both still search, and we both still hope that there is an ending out there where we see what it is we have been looking for all these years of internal loneliness and feelings of estrangement. But an ending is not the right word, because life goes on, and people do too.
The saddest tale is not of lost love you see, but of loneliness. A person who loses his or her true love will eventually find love again even if it is not as great as the love they once felt, however a person who is swamped by loneliness and an aching soul for someone like-minded to talk to can never be satisfied. Their search seems endless even if it is not, and the journey these poor beings take more often than not robs them of their life and then their soul.
She is the type of person to suppress emotions, very deeply. As I was when I was far younger, because being a guy and having emotions are two equations that cancel each other out, at least in society’s eyes they do, and being sentimental made me someone who was immediately estranged from everyone.
So even now if she did still love me as I do her, for the simple fact that even though she is an angelic beauty who lives a thousand worlds away from mine in a class as different from my own as ants from elephants it strikes me deeply within my own suicidally desperate soul that our likeness comes from our wish to belong. If only I could make her see that I love her not simply because of her beauty (though this I must say is one of her strong points) but because of that lonely part of my soul that desires the one same thing that she does. That one true emotional warmth that comes from feeling as though you are at home with those that love you for who you truly are, and cherish your talents not in hollow praise but in truth and virtuous friendship.
To want someone so bad you would die for them is an old cause, and probably out-dated in this modern world where people are moving on faster – and I don’t mean death…but from relationships and phases and hypes.
Things are old the moment they seem to be current.
It seems that love can sometimes make you see things where they may not be, and although you may think you see something in a person it may not really be there. All I can hope is that she one day understand what I mean when I tell her that I love her with all of my being. Because I have no other being to share the love I have with, it all goes to her, and it goes in considerable strength.
The loneliness causes the pain, and the pain causes me to search, and the search leads me to my memories; where I will inevitably find her face staring back at me with those eyes as blue as the ocean tide. That gentle marble skin speckled with a delicate shower of freckles.
When I see her face I feel love, and longing. And I understand that the thing that haunts me is the fact that life is over before it truly begins. Love is over before it truly begins.
If ever she reads these words – if ever I find a way to allow her to gaze upon my thoughts lain down here; I would say to her:

I am sorry for losing a grip on reality.
I am sorry for ever having fallen.
I am sorry I could not fill your longing.
I am sorry I could not have your love.
I am sorry that there is an aging tide between us.
And I would only have you know…
That I love you,
Forever.
Even in death, where loneliness surely leads,
Should I bear its sturdy gaze,
There are no real words to express what I feel,
So this will have to do.
I love you so much, I wish you would kill me.



From Maul

recently i have made a new friend. He's older, i met him thru skating. He isn't handsome in any way, pimples and bad teeth, bad hair and smelly. but he has a girl friend, and when i go out with him, he attracts almost every hot girl in sight. CONFUSED, we start to talk, he gave me advice like, it doesn't matter what the girl likes, preppy, goth, emo, sluty, prude, or anything else, it doesn't matter who you are, All you need is a good adittued and confidence. Most girls only care about talking about themselves, so ask alot of questions, if your lucky and she likes you back more than a fuck buddy, she'll ask you questions. Anything can be done, just stay open minded and remember trying is better than jacking off everynight no matter what. So what i'm saying in the end is.... i have 3 dates this weekend =]

tobias is right girls only care about themselves but there are som,e (like me) who care about other pewople and things if u find girls like that that are not lesbian ur pretty lucky it sumtimes goes the same with guys

People, I am going to see a girl I used to love, I need advice on how to win her back...should I just seal the deal with a romantic sweep into my arms and kiss or make her feel wonderful instead.
I was thinking to ask her outside and talk to her about the fight we had the other night, we can make amends and then I can profess my love for her. If she starts to cry I can hug her and kiss it better and then move onto a more passionate kiss to show her my love.
I'll wrap my arms around her and hopefully that will work. If she says she would rather not I guess I will just have to deal with it. I am excited...I hope I can get this to work.

Wow, that would work to win me back. hahaha Your idea sounds like the best thing that you could possibly do. Good luck!
~*~Jill~*~

OH MY GOD! NO MAUL! DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FIGHT YOU HAD! Just tell her that it's different now and you feel love for her, don't use any sweeping into arms shit that doesn't go as good as it sounds on the first time back. just go see a movie, on the ride tell her the shit n' tell her other this that makes her feel like not shit so the shit that you want to go down gets done and everyone is shittingly happy!

Oh I think I just liked it cause I need a hug hahahahahaha. Yeah be understanding and don't kiss cause you don't want to come on to strong.

Hmm well, Tobias It wasn't a fight. It was very one sided. I was having a go at her for being a bully, which in my books is lower than homeless street whores. So the poor girl really copped it from me. I felt so disappointed in her, but I'm trying to forgive her. tonight is my big night.
Oh and I have to talk to her about everything there because remember I do home schooling and there isn't any other place I can talk to her. Her parents are also highly religious and would not let her out of the house if I asked when the place was on fire.
So you don't think a kiss Jill? Hmm, I suppose that would be a little too strong; you are probably right there, but a hug will go down nicely.
Believe me, when I get romantic...No-one can stop me! I'm a wild cat.

And Tobias you would be surprised how much girls love sentimental stuff. I have to sort out this little I guess, I don't know what to call it because it wasn't a fight. It was just...a scorning on my part.

hug good kiss only if she wants to. Sentimental is romantic to some girls.

CRASH AND BURN!!

Yeah she more or less ignored me the entire time. I was pretty upset, but I did give her the story thing that I wrote for her, so hopefully when she reads that later it will work it's creative magic. Judging by the body language its going to take me a very long time to get back with her - more time than what I had bargained for, and I know that it will require a lot of hurt, because I will have to do social things.
I spent some time with other girls, I hope I didn't make her feel jealous or anything, but maybe she isn't like that. I know I feel really jealous when she is around other guys. SO I'm going to have to teach myself to deal with that because sooner or later I'm going to snap otherwise. And that won't be pretty.
I got really pissed off when her and this other couple completely ditched me at a table in McDonalds as though I wasn't there. They literally made up their minds to leave and just did without looking back, I tried to yell after them but they were going too fast. I felt like killing them all. I had a mobile phone and a set of keys that had been left at the table and I was about to smash them from frustration when I found out they were owned by someone else. Lucky for them I didn't break it...
Yeah I hate myself sometimes.

I hate when that happens. that really sucks im sorry to hear that it didnt work out. *big hug* Jill

Hey all, back to the opposite sex thread.
I want sex. I can't believe how much these hormones get to me after a while - especially since I am on my own. I know that is a typical guy thing, however I'm fucking sick of it, because all the girls around me are immature and don't even know what that thing in between their legs is really for.
There is only one girl I know in this entire town who acknowledges sex and she has a frigging boyfriend (who takes her for granted and treats her like shit).
The world really really sux sometimes. I want to do something that just can't happen, no matter what.